CLASSIC Simpsons: Season Five Review
the greatest of the great?
I just lost an argument with myself. And not just with myself. It’s a battle of opinion I’ve fought countless times over many years against a range of fierce combatants— S5-heads and otherwise. Clearly, I never thought it’d come to this, but I’m just gonna suck this up and admit it: my old argument for Season Four supremacy was probably wrong. Armed with these CLASSIC Scale results, even just arguing for Season Four equality would be an uphill battle; if numbers don’t lie, the story these ones tell demands that the S4-loyalist must either a) live in denial or b) admit defeat.
So it goes.
There are 22 episodes in Season Five of The Simpsons. In this post, you’ll first find the CLASSIC Scale episode score for each, listed from best to worst. Then, the season’s cumulative results. Then, some commentary on Story in S5, and on the show’s growth in general.
ICYMI: I explain my method here. This is the master document, containing my up-to-date all-time rankings list.
Incredible (A+)
Cape Feare
Rosebud
Excellent (A)
Homer Goes to College
Homer and Apu
Last Temptation of Homer
Homer’s Barbershop Quartet
The Boy Who Knew Too Much
$pringfield
Deep Space Homer
Marge on the Lam
Homer Loves Flanders
Great (A-)
Bart Gets an Elephant
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song
Secrets of a Successful Marriage
Treehouse of Horror IV
Bart Gets Famous
Homer the Vigilante
Very Good (B+)
Boy Scoutz ‘n the Hood
Lady Bouvier’s Lover
Bart’s Inner Child
Good (B)
Burns’ Heir
Season Five Rankings
Average Category Score + (Change from S4 → S5):
Characters: 8.47 (+0.14)
Laughs: 8.55 (+0.15)
Artistry: 8.52 (+0.17)
Story: 8.31 (+0.05)
Setting: 8.45 (+0.23)
Irreverence: 8.33 (+0.13)
Classic-ness: 8.56 (+0.16)
Total: 8.46 (+0.16)
Average Episode Score: A- *
*This is by mean; by Median, or if we were to round up to the first decimal, it would be an A. So it’s an A-, but with an asterisk. Maybe an A-+
Lowest & Least Improved Category:
Story @ 8.31
+.05 from Season 4
+0.30 from Season 3
+0.93 from Season 2
+1.39 from Season 1
Once again, the show continues to improve its score in all 7 categories. Generally, the steps taken are getting smaller. But still. And for the first time, I was surprised that every single category saw improvement from one season to the next— I really felt S4 would have something over S5 (categorically speaking). The fact that the smallest improvement is in Story, however, didn’t surprise me.
Cape Feare and Rosebud, the best episodes of the season, are two that score very highly in Story. On the one hand, that’s largely due to their creative interpretations of Citizen Kane and- well- Cape Fear. What makes these two episodes so incredible, though, is more than just these borrowed story elements. Each is brought to life by investing significantly in the intense inner lives and drives of two of the show’s more complex characters: Mr. Burns and Sideshow Bob. Both add layers to their respective main character, rather than just leaning on the characters’ established quirks, or the source material the plots are pulled from. Both have high stakes—funny stakes, but high ones. Meanwhile, Burns’ Heir has one of the lowest Story scores on the season; even though it has tons of funny moments, Burns’ desire for a legacy isn’t mined for nearly as many gems as Burns’ obsession with his teddy bear Bobo, and the story suffers accordingly.
As the show begins to stabilize into something consistently great on an episode-by-episode basis- and to achieve excellence more and more frequently- episodes that suffer from a relative lack of cohesion; or have an act or sub-plot that lags behind the rest; or just aren’t particularly compelling; begin to stand out for not reaching the high bar the show sets for itself. On a few occasions in S5, there are even ironic self-referential jokes about the weak, or boring, or senseless plot that is playing (or has just played) out. While this kind of meta-commentary is funny when done well, this can also be kind of annoying as a viewer: you’re struggling to invest in a plot line only for the episode’s own characters to also admit their lack of investment.
Obviously, the vast majority of the episodes don’t fall prey to this in any serious way. Only four episodes scored under an A- in Story. Three are in the mid-B range: Homer the Vigilante (B+) / Burns’ Heir (B) / Lady Bouvier’s Lover (B-). The fourth, Bart’s Inner Child, is way down at 6.5 (C); story-wise, that one’s all over the place; the first act, featuring Homer’s manic trampoline purchase, complete with the subsequent attempts to grift off of the cursed item and then rid himself of it, is extremely funny. But the episode begins to crumble when Marge getting called out for her naysaying is used to shift to the Brad Goodman storyline, which obviously takes some great jabs at the self-help grifting industry, but stumbles along clunkily as it squeezes out an interpretation of Bart’s character that comes across as- once again- forced.
Say it ain’t so: S5 > S4?
If this project can support one argument for Season Four’s supremacy, it’s probably that it features 3 of the Top 5 episodes (and 4 of the Top 6)— including, of course, holding down the #1 by a decent margin.
It’s too bad, though, because things slip for S4’s prospects soon after we escape the Top 5/6. Belonging to S5 are 9 of the Top 15 (vs. 4 for S4) and 11 of the Top 20 (vs. 7 for S4).
Ultimately, it makes sense that they’re both “Great” seasons. At the same time, it was disappointing to watch S5, which had a great shot to stay above 8.50 and land in “Excellent” territory, go out with a whimper in the form of two episodes that - while not even close to bad- stilled pulled the average down to 8.45 (still ranked 38 & 44 out of 101 episodes so far).
What’s really interesting to me? According to the CLASSIC Scale, S3 was also “Great.” 8.02 vs 8.45 obviously represents the low and high end of an A-, but it still seems wrong that they’d fall under the same adjective.
Here’s one way to explain this… I’ve been coming to these value averages in terms of Mean:
S3 = 8.02 (A-)
S4 = 8.30 (A-)
S5 = 8.45 (A-)
But when we do median:
S3 = 8.02 (A-)
S4 = 8.27 (A-)
S5 = 8.55 (A)
We not only see a category shift but also the story of big, evenly spread steps being taken in a sensible progression as the show enters its prime from 3 to 4 to 5.
So, if- as of right now- I were still to want to preach S4 supremacy, my only ammo would be that it has 3 of my top 5 episodes (and 4 of my top 6). If I were to begin leaning toward S5, that’s because the season captures the show’s continued growth into an impressive consistency— S5 has 9 “Excellent” episodes, as compared to 5 in S4, and just 3 in S3. That’s massive.
Looking Forward
Naturally, this also leads to some questions about S6:
—> Will it stay Great or become Excellent?
—> And/or will we see our first category fall? Which one(s)? By how much?
(I really felt like at least one might drop from 4→5 and am pretty impressed it didn’t)
—> How will the top 5 and 10 look after another prime season?
Beyond this, talking about this project with some friends lately has re-affirmed my commitment to going far beyond the prime and watching as late into this series as possible. It’s fine to rehash the glory of the prime, but it’s nobler to go into the depths of the awfulness of the last few decades; how bad does it get? Is it true that good episodes still periodically appear? What exactly makes the worst episodes so bad?
Onward.
